So I'm starting to get ready for Yule, at least in my head.

I was voluntold.... I mean.... am excited to be hosting the second cookie exchange. This year I'm thinking about making less cookies, as last year was a bit overboard.

Chocolate Cherry Thumbprints
Florentines
Sugar Snowflakes
Oatmeal Raisin or Peanutbutter Chocolate

I am also making yule logs, but I'm not sure exactly how many. I think we said 8? And that's what I'm going to start on Mon or Tues this week. I plan on pre-baking, icing, rolling and then freezing them till closer to service then finishing them the day before the event.

I'm glad I don't have to do these in the apartment's easy bake oven this year. But I still only have one silpat and one baking sheet to fit it.So it will be a slow and lazy day filled with vanilla chiffon batter and chocolate butter cream. I also need to remember to pick up my mixer tomorrow from my mom's house. I should've grabbed it on turkey day but totally forgot.

Blah.... Kinda wish I was more psyched about this but work is sucking my will to live.

I was reminded yesterday that I do in fact have an SCA persona website.... one which I've neglected since right before War. The way I was reminded is that I opened up yahoo messenger and found a correspondence from a complete stranger waiting for me. She was wowed by how awesome my persona website is, the wealth of information and cool shit and wanted to thank me for putting all that out there. When I read it my first thought was "YAY!!!! I helped educate someone!!!" and then I remember what my yahoo screen name is. It starts with Laxshmi as the root name, I chose it before I'd ever even heard of Mistress Lakshmi. This stranger who contacted me could very easily be confusing Lakshmi's awesomeness with my screen name and giving me a backhanded compliment. Or she could actually have been to the Lalitadasa homepage and then hacked the hell out of some shit and found my Laxshmi-tastic screen name. I just don't know.

But then I thought about my site. It is big and kinda rambly but just about everything I've ever known is up there. Yet there's only one pic of me. And Madhavi made a good point on the SCA India list.... those of us who have advanced beyond lycra and polyester should post pics of what we wear complete with descriptions of just wtf it is we are wearing and why.

So now I'm thinking I should take some pics of me in garb and post them to both the India list and to my website with descriptions of what I'm wearing and why and whatever documentation I have for it. But that means I need good pics. Also, do you think I should do a dhoti wrapping demo like Lakshmi did for her fishtail wrap on her site? I only ponder this since I believe I'm the only SCA Indian to wear my dhoti in this fashion.

Which reminds me... Master Richard the Trimarian Seneshal has requested an essay with footnotes on the topic of the Sola Sindoor (16 sacred pieces of jewelry) by Winter Art Sci. Which would be easy as hell.... but I'm still trying to figure out recipes for Art Sci and can't remember which of all my books had the most info on said topic. Sigh.... time to start digging through my notes....

What do you think? Post pics on the website or not?

• Leave me a comment saying "Resistance is Futile."

• I'll respond by asking you five questions so I can satisfy my curiosity

• Update your journal with the answers to the questions

• Include this explanation in the post and offer to ask other people questions (I'll also answer more, if asked)


(Like V I have a limited amount of brain resources I can devote to this, so I am going to limit it to the first 3 people who respond.)

Ok.... GO!!!

It was brought to my attention yesterday that I haven't been saying much lately. I blame work entirely. Yesterday I finished an 8 day work week, each day ranging from 10 to 12 hrs and with only 3 breaks had during all three days. The OT has got to be awesome.... or so I keep telling myself. By the time I get home I have just enough energy to fall on the bed after setting my alarm. Even eating has become a hit or miss thing. And sex? Yeah.... not so much.

I wouldn't have today off except that I requested the 13-15 off for Moot and my boss is a moron, giving me the 12-14 off. I told her I'd take the 12th as well since it's already scheduled, but I still needed the 15. She asked why I needed those specific days and I told her I was doing volunteer work for a non-profit educational organization. And the best part is, I wasn't lying. Mwahahahaha.....

So last night I was asleep by 9 something after the internet so rudely booted me from a lovely conversation. I moved so little I have sheet lines still embedded in me. But I did have lots and lots of dreams about the lady I'd been chatting with. I can't remember the details, but I know they were pleasant. Currently I am making bacon and cinnamon rolls and debating between honey yogurt or scrambled eggs.

Plans for today:

Pack everything I need for the event
Launder everything I've worn in the last 14 days or so

The question I am pondering is whether or not to make my tent into the Indian Love Nest aka the Kamasutra Pavilion. Or do I pack light?

I am an aching bundle of pain. Everything hurts, but most especially my feet and back. I am going to make chicken alfredo and call it a night.

Today was an incredibly awesome day. And it all started with an incredibly awesome dream... a dream about lesbian sex with one of my LJ readers. Yes, I could go on in explicit technicolored detail about all the hot and sweaty bits of said dream.... that's not really the point of this journal. If you want those details, read my other journal.

What I've been mulling over for the last 12 hrs or so is the very existence of said dream. I do consider myself to be bisexual. I have dated 5 women in 15 years... and had sex with less than 10. That's a very small number compared to the men in my life. So, yeah, it takes a lot for me to be interested in a lady. A LOT!!

And the lady in question... she's got what I look for and yet somehow she slipped completely under my radar to the point where she practically had to slap me in the face with a tit and say "come and get me!".... It's weird to me, weird but good. I like her, and my id obviously likes her, and the friends we share in common like her (and think we should totally do it!)... but I'm wondering now why I feel a bit of hesitation.

It's not her. It's so totally not her. I know it's me. And because I am so introspective I just can't stop wondering why... why did it take me so long to notice her? why is it taking me so long to consider her? why am I not in the car right now on my way north to do horrible things to her at a campground? I want to... gods in bliss do I want to.... but part of me is kinda holding back and shuffling her feet and asking stupid questions.

Why don't I treat sex with girls the same way i do guys? Do I respect women more because I am one? Do I trust women less because... well.... I am one? A lady has never betrayed me or hurt me or raped me or beaten me or threatened me or impregnated me or hell... I've never even had an angry break up with a girl. So why the fuck aren't i gay?

For me it all depends on the situation and the person doing it. Bunny is one of the most racist people I have ever met, he loathes most other blacks and is very vocal about it. I often asked him to tone it down around me which is when he turned it into humor, often making fun of himself as well. But it was still weird.

My friends really aren't the type to say anything racial and certainly aren't homophobic (a huge number of them are either gay or bi) but my husband has been known to push the racial boundary a few times. When I first left him he was certain it was because of Asim (and his penis) and that caused him to go a little batty in the racism department. I confronted him on it, assured him that I had not left him for Asim, and he has gone back to being the relaxed hippie I married.

The only time I ever confronted a friend or family member on the topic of homophobia was when my daughter kept telling me really bad gay jokes. She was ten. I didn't like the fact that the jokes all demonized gays and decided to have a talk with her about it. I am very glad I did because I found out she didn't even know what "gay" actually is, she just hated/feared/ostracized them because that's how society was training her. Once I explained what the term gay means.... and pointed out how many of her aunts and uncles are gay... she realized what she had been doing was wrong.

In all honesty, I am much more comfortable confronting a stranger on topics of intolerance. Anyone who gives me shit about who I'm dating, be they black, red, yellow, female, or transgender is going to regret it. But entering into a confrontation like that with someone who I love/like/respect is much harder. I'll still do it, but it's harder.

Its Saturday night and I am home alone after getting horribly blue-balled (blue ovaried?) by the guy I'm kinda sorta dating. After tonight I'm half tempted to tell him to piss off.... Total sexual frustration!

Anyway... there's an Alien's marathon on and I'm bored so here's a meme.

( Read if you like memes )

Work is kicking my ass. Working with the chefs is exhausting. One of my coworkers is probably smoking crack... her behavior is wild, she is always screaming, she is over excited all the time, and somehow managed to burn her nose. People are afraid to work with her. I am worn out. Totally toast.

I wonder if I can stay up and watch Ghosthunters or if I should just call it an early night and crash now.

So it's bitchin cold here this morning... a shivery 60 degrees this morning. I have no warm clothes here, only 1 light blanket. My plan? Hot chocolate!

1 Cup warm milk
1 Tbs vanilla
1 Cup melted 56% dark belgum chocolate

YUM

Best pick up line I have ever used: Your hot, want a blowjob? (this has only failed once, and yes he's straight).

Best pick up line I have heard: Nice boots, wanna fuck? (oh yeah, it worked... a lot! But no, not on me).

Worst used on me: So, do you only fuck N%(#*&&ers? Cuz I have a HUGE cock! (I managed not to punch him).

And yes, if I'm into someone and they use a bad pick up line I am way way less likely to follow through.

And now I must share this pic as it made me snarf my pasta.

So 3 more people quit yesterday due to a rumor. It started in the kitchen, someone saying they'd heard that us in the cafe wouldn't be getting tips. They then told our younger members that they'd heard it from the owner himself. Which sucks balls and made all of us really angry. Those of us who are mature waited to hear it from the camels mouth, the young, lazy and stupid members just up and walked out. At the end of the day the owner assured us we would certainly be making tips.

Drama drama drama drama.

And this morning I opened my eyes to great big fucking wolf spider looking down at me from the wall next to my bed. A battle ensued. I, using the broom and a can of Raid, conquered him most mightily and tossed him in the trash. But the adrenaline is still pumping as spiders really really freak me the fuck out.

Oh well, time to go to work.

Oh yeah, I had a great date last night!!! A real one, like out of a movie!

So it's day 2 of working at the Seagate Resort and Spa. I am a barista again, working in their boutique coffee shop. I am 1 of 2 employees who know anything at all about coffee or how to run a coffee house. The other person with a clue is from Seattle.

The original crew was 16 people, 10 of which made it through the first day. By the end of today we were at 6.5. I expect more people to walk, mainly because they are all flaky high school kids. I know they are looking for a couple of shift supervisors and I anticipate being made into one, but don't want to get my hopes up. With my luck I'd be passed over and then get all bitchy and pissy.

But I do get to bring in my coffee powerpoint from school tomorrow. Woo hoo. I love showing off my oh so sexy PPs. And teaching, gotta love the teaching.

Ok, time to take a nap.

So I've been brainstorming for a week or two now on writing a ghost story. And I've been trying to come up with non-stereotypical creepy things to freak out the protagonist who is a woman living alone. Today I've had two very weird things happen, which I don't blame on the supernatural but do make me think.

1) I was laying in bed in the middle of the day when I clearly heard someone knocking on the front door. I got up, looked out the window and saw no one, threw on some clothes and went to answer it... no one was anywhere in sight. 2) I was in the tub with the bathroom door firmly shut (I didn't want to hear the TV my houseguest was watching). As I was laying there reading I heard the door handle turn and watched the door open about 6 inches. I looked in the mirror to see why he was watching me... no one was there. So I got up, looked down the hall and he was no where in sight. So I shut the door again and got back in the tub.

Like I said, they didn't scare me or anything but if I was the charecter in the story I'm thinking up, with all the appropriately scary backstory, it could have been a bit unnerving.

Can you help me come up with similar freaky occurrences...? Nothing as blatant as full bodied apparitions or creepy voices. Just stuff that COULD be freaky or COULD be explained away...

I don't know what it is... but ever since the Pork Induced Explosions that decimated my lower GI last week I have been getting sicker and sicker. But it can't all be related. I mean, I'm flipping between horrible digestive issues and a sore throat so nasty I feel like I was deep throating a pineapple. I keep going all hot and cold, weak, light headed, totally lethargic.... it's nasty. Totally gross, totally painful, totally socially unexceptable.

Ok, you all had good input and even better questions so here's my attempt to answer them.

First off, why sex counseling/therapy. The short answer is: I do it all the time anyway. Ever since I was 14 people have been asking me all kinds of weird sex stuff, from relationship counseling to technical how-tos. This is what has given me the comfort level needed to stand up infront 2 classes of 100 strangers each and teach the KS every year at Pennsic. Before I ever got up and did it I already knew that I could do it, and do it well.

Also, it's something that many intelligent people who I greatly respect have told me I should look into. Two of them are my shrink and Woody, both of whom have a good amount of psych education under their belts and who know my sexual attitudes extremely well. While my love life is a complete and utter cluster-fuck my views/beliefs/perspectives have all remained remarkably positive and accepting. Add to this strong base my background in.... deviant social/sexual norms (ah-hem) and the shrink thinks I'd have a great niche market.

No, I would not jump headlong back into a full curriculum. I had already started thinking about doing it V's way and seeing if it's something I could wrap my brain around it. I do have a learning disability and if it would impair me too much to do well at this then it's a great idea to find out in advance.

With that being said, it's time to go to the shrink!

So I'm seriously considering going back to school again. My shrink is really pushing me toward sex counseling...

Should I do it?

So I'm sitting here watching TV and checking my email, sticky buns are in the oven, and I hear a knock on the door. I twitch aside the curtain and there's the dude I met last week during the Epic Bad Date. My first thought is to call the cops. Instead, I put on some clothes and went to see what he wanted. Remember, someone was knocking on my door at 5 AM on a Sunday....

I punched 911 into my phone, ready to hit send and then opened the door. He wanted to talk. Fuck. I hate drama queen asshole dom's. We talked. I kept my hand on the talk button and stayed close to the knives. I am seriously considering getting a tazer... or at least an asp. Asps are sexy!

Anyway, we talked. I drilled it into his head that I am not interested in him, that we are a horrible match. Eventually, I convinced him and he left. I still have 911 sitting on my phone.

I think I'm going to find somewhere else to be today, in case he comes back. Definately not a boring day.

Lets see, I guess the weirdness started first with the Sea March 30th Anniversary event. A friend of mine was coming down from up north and wanted a place to crash. I offered and had a great time coming to know him even better. Yay for Starbucks that are open late!( this is long )

I think if the clowns are going to try and eat my brains tonight they'll have to fight their way past hoards and hoards of horny bunnies.

If I could start today over again I'd wake up, shoot myself in the temple and bleed out.

This month, I'd go into work with a chainsaw.

This year, dump Bunny before he became an addiction.

Maybe I should just go gay...